dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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