He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
