would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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