Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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