3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
