yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
