2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
