why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
