sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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