It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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