She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
