Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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