So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
