I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
