The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
