i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
