We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm too high and old for this...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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