do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
