Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think I am morally bankrupt
should my penis look like a turkey
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think your dad took our porno
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
