we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
