if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
