Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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