Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
