I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
