Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
