dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My ass is underappreciated
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
my liver is dry heaving
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
