I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
