im gay
i know
yea but for you.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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