How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
