i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I smell stomach acid.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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