i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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