i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
