covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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