1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
he thought i was a dude.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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