she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
