I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize