And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize