And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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