Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
