He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
