Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
