I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize