with your own penis?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
