i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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