I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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