There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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