So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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