Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
