Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
