if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
