As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
