is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You work out of a Hotel?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
