dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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