i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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