i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
