As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
