I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
