she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize