Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
