Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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