so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
