He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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