Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
