I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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