Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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