its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
