Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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