Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
