I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
